Days go by and nothing moves
you fumble, stumble and try (again)
ideas are stuck
projects are stuck
head bangs against a wall
of unknowns
no one knows
no one can help
there are no experts
no one’s around you but you
and the unknown, uncharted.
No social life
nothing to talk about
they wont get it you say
nothing to show that is credible
understandable, comprehensible
or beautiful to the common eye
Except perhaps an old story
of a crazy innovator’s mess.
Why bother so much? they ask
move on, life can be predictable!
Ya, right!
Why bother? Who cares?
One is tempted, every moment.
To let go. To chase the next greens
To play.
Escape seems possible and beautiful.
But something keeps alive
the silly bug of a stuck innovator.
The charm of unconnected pieces
materials and parts needing nurturing and attention
mysterious ideas needing form
dreams
stories materials wrote on the bruised hands
a nose smothered with solder smoke
and burnt metal in the taste
eyes sore with tiredness and despair
a pocket full of holes
debts to others
sweat of many moments past
an identity looking for a home
freedom
credibility
self-esteem
all waiting in line
for the stars to align
and a universe
to fall in place.